The Distance of a Shadow
by bartiti
Summary: Katarina struggles with an assassination order and her loyalty to Noxus as she evaluates the importance of the unlikely friend she found in Ashe. rated T for now though it might go up in later chapters.


My gut twists with sickening anticipation of what I am about to do. In the dim cobble stone halls, dimly lit by torches on the walls. I can see the shadow of a cloaked figure poking out from around the corner up ahead. My target. There is an ache in my chest that is screaming at me to stop, that this isn't something I should be doing. It is easily ignored these things are in my nature, it is what I was meant for, and something I must do. It might hurt at first but the pain will pass with time, as does everything.

I remain low and unseen. It's late in the night almost everyone is asleep, my actions will go unnoticed by all. I turn the corner and lay my eyes upon my target. She's closer than I expected, this will be easy. The distance is closed instantly and silently by me. I draw my blade from its sheath, and my blood runs cold.

Hesitation takes hold of my actions, it is not a sensation I am used to. I was always taught how hesitating without action would always botch jobs, but I've never experienced it, until now. The figure in front of me began to spin around.

Flinching, as I close my eyes, I let my instincts take over. My hand flashes forward with deadly accuracy. I hear the sweet sound of flesh being sliced open, music to my ears on a normal night. Tonight it's the worst sound I've ever heard, and it fills me with dead. My eyes remain closed, I don't need to open them to know what I've done, I would never miss this close. The next sound is that of a sickly sputtering, the sound of someone struggling to breath with a slit windpipe as their lungs flood with blood. At this point it won't matter that they saw me, I convince myself, all they can do now is lay there and bleed out anyways.

My eyes open, proving myself wrong, my heart sinks and the gravity of what I have just done hits me harder than a sledgehammer. I feel the air leave my lungs as the saliva in my mouth turns to ash, and tears uncharacteristically begin to well in my eyes. It was not the act of killing that bothers me so, I do it multiple times a day, and it is simply the person who I killed that affects me in this way.

The person in front of me starts to fall as I make an effort to catch them and lower them to the floor. Blood spills from their neck and stains my hands crimson, but I couldn't care less about that right now. The persons hands claw weakly at me and give me cause to look at them, I instantly regret it. Instead of the anger I expected their eyes stare up at mine, filled with sadness and betrayal. The question "why?" is written on their face. I watch painfully as the life drains from their eyes as they turn in to a shell of themselves. This person was my only true friend and I killed them in cold blood, and I couldn't even answer her question myself, I don't know why I did this.

I awake with a scream. Just a dream. My breath leaves me in a shaky exhale. "Ashe" I whisper to no one but myself. My voice comes out with as a broken and ragged sound that hurts my ears to listen to. I can feel silent tears sliding down my cheeks. Three more broken breaths leave my lungs as I begin to calm down. Ashe is still alive, for now, and that's all that matters.

There's a quiet knock on my door, well quiet by my sister's standards. "Katarina are you alright? I heard a scream." I sigh, still inside my room at the Du Couteau manor. As my vision adjusts to the dark I can see my walls plastered with noxian flags and insignias, knickknacks to show my "devotion." The table beside my bed is covered with my short swords and knives, just in case. Getting out of my bed I feel a blast of cool air that causes me to shiver, but I don't find it wholly unpleasant, I've become more adjusted to the cold recently. Walking to my door and opening it I am faced with the glowing eyes of my sister.

"I am fine cass, it was just another nightmare, nothing for you to worry about" I sighed. Cassiopeia's face contorted in a weary look that showed she didn't believe me. "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Despite the fact that we aren't the most caring pair of sisters we still look out for each other, but watching her try this hard to be kind just made me uncomfortable. Trying to steel myself and appear less broken then I felt I gave a quick reply "yes I am fine, sorry I woke you up, I am going back to bed now." I could see Cassiopeia's mind working a retort as her mouth began to move, not giving her a chance to speak I closed my door quickly, imagining how the words died on her lips. I could hear a muffled "goodnight Kat" from the other side of my door but I was already making my way back to bed.

I felt bad about completely shutting out my sister like that, but it not like these are feelings I can talk to her about. There is no way she would understand why I felt like this or how things even got to this point. I don't think I could be further from sleep at this point. I began to collect my thoughts and figure out what to do. Ashe was the first and only true friend I've ever made, it seemed like and impossibility at the time and I still have a hard time believing it. I guess that it only takes one simple action to changes someone's life, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I could feel my chest ache in dull pain as I thought of these things. I could only assume I was feeling this pain because of the decision I now needed to make. Yesterday I received an order to assassinate someone and tomorrow I would leave to carry it out. I've been in a dazed state since I've got this order I could hardly believe it, it felt like something inside me shattered when I saw my target's name, of course it had to be her. Ashe. I laughed bitterly to myself in bed, it was just too ironic, the universe wanted to make sure I remained unhappy it seemed.

Noxus, bloodthirsty as always wanted to stir things up in the Freljord. The high command of Noxus had grown uneasy with the long period of peace since the end of the Ionian invasion. Their thirst for violence had reached a boiling point, so they analyzed their options. Apparently they had viewed the Freljord as a fragile and weak nation that only needed a small push to trigger an all-out war. Noxus saw the start of any war as an opportunity to gain power or at least make a show of the power we already possessed. So the order came through to me, I need to kill Ashe and make it seem like it was a member of the winter's claw who committed the act. I had to admit it was a pretty solid plan as far as plans to start wars go. A part of me refused, there was no way I could kill Ashe, but a larger part of me knew I could. Killing is all I've ever done and now it seems that it's all I will ever do. Ashe was my only chance I've ever had at living a life of anything but pure violence.

That all came crashing down when the Noxian high command gave me this order. I have no intention to going against Noxus' orders either. Since birth, I have been nothing but a loyal blade for the Noxian war machine and I don't plan on changing from that path, not anymore at least.

I could feel exhaustion overtaking my mind as I laid still and my thoughts soon became incoherent. Realizing I should still try to get some sleep to prepare for my "job" tomorrow, I closed my eyes and let the sensation of sleep take me. My mind filling with dreams of the past.

* * *

**Author's Note**

well this was something new, it's the first time I've ever wrote anything like this on my own time, so i hope you enjoyed it and leave a review if you'd like, they are appreciated, and of course there will be more sometime.


End file.
